Furious Monkeys vs. Delighted Monkeys at "Three in the Morning"

Chuang-Tzu is quite a character. Even when the author introduces his passage, he warns us that “he tilts like the great earth itself, spinning in empty space.”

In the beginning of the reading, I was lost without a doubt…until I was informed that Chuang-Tzu was making fun of the people who thought of themselves as intellectuals, saying things that initially didn’t make sense to anyone. But he shows his true colors when he admits that the best thing to use is clarity.
I’m still a bit hesitant on some of the insights that he tries to explain to the reader, such as; using a horse to show that a horse is not a horse isn’t as good as using a non-horse to show that a horse is not a horse. Or when he says how “there is nothing in the world bigger than the tip of an autumn hair” and “no one has lived longer than a dead child”.
But when he brings something to my attention that I can relate to- he isn’t joking around.

“How do I know that the dead do not wonder why they ever longed for life?”
^Wow.

That just makes me want to experience death, and find out if when I try to be satisfied with this life and avoid death, I am in reality making a big error? Seriously, How are we do know that loving life is not a delusion? There is NO answer. How frustrating. All we can do is wonder at our life. But then again, Chuang-Tzu tells us that the True Man of ancient times knew nothing of loving life, and knew nothing of hating death. Does this mean, that to model the True Man (of ancient times) I must learn how to know nothing. Apparently he “emerged without delight”, which makes me think that expressing emotions is not part of the True Man’s nature.
But then MY very own nature goes against that. There have been many times have I wished that I could make myself numb, and without emotion, but in reality, it’s because of all of these emotions that I find joy in life, and I find passion in my life.
I am encouraged slightly to find that the True Man of ancient times didn’t rebel against want, and could commit an error and not regret it. And also that “he received something and took pleasure in it”, but then again… he also “forgot about it and handed it back again.”

This self-denial/self-acceptance, be who you are/ don’t be anyone, breathing with your heels type of life is rather difficult to grasp.